photo courtesy of Horoscopes

“I don’t wear sunblock.” Good look. Awesome.


After your job working as a camp counselor got canceled because of the coronavirus, you, like every other person, took to babysitting. Whether it be through a family friend, previous employer or the Newton Babysitting Facebook group, you discovered babysitting, while more lucrative, is not nearly as fun as working at a camp. The same kids, over and over and over, are just too much.


Tiger King was the start of quarantine. Seems like forever ago. Carole Baskin is now on “Dancing with the Stars” …


You, a senior, finally got your license during the break. Congrats.


“Social distancing, canceled.” You didn’t explicitly say it, but it was implied through your numerous Instagram posts.


“What even is proper social distancing protocol at this point? Doesn’t everyone just ignore it?” Um, no.


Quite frankly, you never thought the coronavirus would last this long, and neither did we. Only your friend’s mom, who called that you weren’t going back to school as early as March was right. It’s unfortunate, but it’s true.


How on earth are the movies back open? Nonetheless, you saw “Tenet,” and it was really, really good. In fact, it was so good and so confusing, you went back and saw it a second time.


You’ve discovered a new hobby. Whether it be poker, betting on sports or cornhole, you’re hooked. And it’s wicked fun. Remember everything is good in moderation. Actually some things aren’t really good at all, but they’re fun. Find the balance.


The outlier of the bunch, you’ve returned to that old game. Your screen time has skyrocketed after hours upon hours of Clash of Clans. It’s gotten so bad that you’ve taken over your friends’ old accounts.


Getting ice cream with friends is the go-to simply because you cannot figure out what else to do. Try just talking by a fire or a movie or something. Works sometimes.


You and your friends thought it was funny to put the Mason Rice hoops on the lowest setting and then break them. This one isn’t even funny; it’s just so annoying. Now the hoop is stuck at three feet, and the best court in Newton is trashed. Textbook example of why we can’t have nice things.