Roaroscopes

You’re still dabbing. It’s 2020. Get over it. While we do have this in our Roaroscopes, our own editor, Julian Fefer, indeed still dabs. He does so even in the most public of settings, like airports. Hypocritical? Yes. Detracts from the message? No. 

“So annoying.” “So dumb.” “What is he doing,”  is what you said after Governor Baker declared masks were mandatory in public after May 7. Look at yourself. Take a step back and look at yourself.

HaVe YOu WaTcHeD OuTEr BaNkS? 

Despite our previous roaroscope, we have indeed watched Outer Banks. And, though the show isn’t without flaws, we get the hype, from Sarah Cameron to John B to Popes’ Dad. Is THiS WhOLe RoAroScOpEs OuTeR BaNKs ThEmED? No. But, if you like Weezy (Sarah Cameron’s little sister), you’re wack.

You’re the type of person responsible for responding to 12 history discussions at 3:37 a.m. in the morning. You’re not slick, literally everyone in the class gets those messages.

Stop. Talking. About. Summer. You’re. Jinxing. It.

The original quarantine motivation to get jacked has disappeared and now you’ve fallen into a terrible cycle of eating terribly and not working out. You’ve adopted the “who cares, no ones gonna see me for a while anyway” attitude, and are reading this while munching on some freshly-baked pizza rolls.

We get it. You know 30 different songs. No one needs to hear “Juicy Wiggle” as Day 6: a song that makes you want to dance or Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours” as Day 12: a song from your preteen years. For legal reasons: we do holistically respect any taste in music, and anyone’s Instagram posts.

We know you were disappointed when the faculty variety show was postponed (twice). To avoid missing out on any future school-wide events, respond “accept” to every Schoology request from NSHS Library. You have a unique personality that lets you enjoy read-alouds with the librarians.

You definitely haven’t submitted the course request form even though it’s been due at least 12 times. Notably, this form is a lie, because there are no repercussions for ignoring it entirely.

The senior Facebook group is the only thing getting you through quarantine. #iykyk

If you think Mr. Banks should be the next principal, show your support by following @nshslionsroar on Instagram